I don’t remember really remember the night itself but I remember the morning after. I left my house around 10am in the morning and walked my usual route to Lansdowne subway station. It was a crisp, bright morning if I remember correctly but the cold didn’t bite too hard. The thing that struck me was that the air, the sounds, the sights, were just like any other day. It just didn’t feel like something so horrible had happened only the night before. This sensation contrasted with what I remember after days such as the one that came after the shootings on parliament hill. And many others. I wondered how the air may have been different if the murders had taken place in Toronto. Or even Montreal. At the time, I thought yes but a year later, I think no.

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